I've finally updated Bong's link and linked to Hui Bin and Jiale and Yuxin's blogs.. yay.. so now my blog is officially active. Yay.

Friday was a very sucky day. In fact, this whole week has veen a sucky week. I can't sleep properly, which in turn affected my days... i can't stop thinking, can't stop remembering... memories haunt me wherever i go... even at night in my dreams... they juz refuse to let me go... so i end up waking crying or with my heart beating very fast... i hate this... i hate all of this... i wanna let go of the past.. it is the past... u know, my fate's supposed to not be gd... and last time, i used to think that i had proved it wrong.. i mean, i was so happy and all, with a bright and hopeful future ahead, what could go wrong? In the end, I was still beaten by fate... it played such a cruel joke on me.. giving me the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life, making me so deliriously joyful, then punishing me by taking it all away... it didn't juz take it all away from me.. it gave it to someone else... so here i am all alone and hurt, punished for thinking that i deserved what was obviously too gd for me..

Zhu and Winfred, I'm sorry... I dunno whether u think my apologies are sincere enough or not, but i realli mean them... I'm realli sorry...

I'm a horrible person... I'm realli a horrible person... I dun even deserve all the wonderful friends i have.. hui bin, jilyn, xiu tang, yuna, charlene, jiale, huiwen, yuxin, xiwei, ka fai... and thanx huibin and jilyn, i appreciated what u guys did for me on fri... i realli did... it realli touched me... and yeah, i know i have friends who laugh with me... thatz why i never box all of u mahz... cos' i know u guys are laughing with me, not at me... thanx... i realli do love all of u so much...

after so much stress over the stupid O2 thing, i decided not to try for it... the most all my friends can go and have fun and i shall stay at home and rot and cry some more... i hate crying... i hate being such a crybaby...

I'm so numb now... I feel like everything has been sucked outta me... and yet again, i'm crying... like an idiot i'm crying... i dun wanna cry... i dun wanna cry... Xue Hui's nick is so appropriate.. whatz the use of a heart when it gets broken?