Very long never update liaoz, so here i am thinking of sth to update.. hahaz.. technically, my life is going fine.. i'm beginning to get to know more abt my classmates and have realised that generally they are nice peeps. I'm slowly getting used to the system in rj and I tink I can survive 2 years here.. and I pray that i wun get retained or anything..hahaz.. oh and I got accepted through my interview into interact, so tatz good. hahaz..so now i'm officially in interact. hurrah for me. i also signed up for recreational badminton.. now contemplating whether i shld try for raffles players..hahaz.. tink I'm kinda in the slacking mood... got one official cca like enough already ritez..hahaz... lazy me... forever lazy...
Yesterday after tuition, I was going to somerset to withdraw money when lo and behold who shld i meet but krystal! hahaz.. actually was intending to buy some archie comics and go eat mos alone.. but hen krystal kindly invited me to her house for dinner and some catching up.. so we went to buy my mos burger, then she went to buy her burger king, and we took the romantic route to her hse.. ohmigod her hse is realli very very nice.. romantic and cosy..hahaz.. so we ate and talked a lot.. it was nice to catch up with her, seeing how things are for her and everything.. i was realli thankful that i had bumped into her.. and kinda regretful that i never got to know her better in secondary sch.. so i've pledged that i shall make an effort to keep more in touch with her..hahaz.. and her whole family is warm and cosy.. and her parents were so kind to me.. and u know.. seeing them together, i kinda got a pang, cos' itz so obvious to anybody that her parents are still very much in love with each other despite having been together for tons of years and having seen each other's flaws and strengths.. they are going to the river side for a walk, juz the two of them, when i was leaving..hahaz.. i hope that someday i'll be able to be as lucky as krystal's mother.. once i tot i had found the guy of my dreams.. apparently not..or rather, he is the guy of my dreams.. sadly I juz wasn't the girl of his dreams...
And I finally got to meet jocelyn! and got to talk to her..hahaz.. it was very nice.. I've realli missed talking to her.. i've basically missed her a lot.. shall try and find a time to ask her out, cos' u can't realli talk much in the morning and with so many peeps around anyway.. hahaz.. and in the morning i can't decide whether i wanna talk to her or charlene and jiale and yuna or go my og and get to know them better..hahaz.. or that guy..hahaz..i guess this is why i came rj..i can hate the food, i can hate the strict system, and i can hate the compeitiveness and all the politics.. but i can also be grateful, for it has the people whom i love a lot and whom love me a lot.. and people whom i have the potential of loving...
technically, i'm getting on fine.. emotionally, i'm still a mess.. hahaz.. i still keep tinking abt it.. can't stop tinking, can stop remembering, can't stop crying.. but I'm so lucky tat i'm around friends.. esp in the morning, when i'm with them.. although i feel like i've been all sliced up and everything.. they are the nearest to home that i can get for now.. they offer the warmth and comfort that i so badly need at this point of time.. i thank heavens i have them.. i know i shld be thankful for them, and i am.. i also know that i'm very greedy when i wish at night tat i had more.. but then can u blame me? i once had everything tat i wanted.. now i'm juz wishing for what i had lost.. but will never recover tat.. i have accepted tat fact.. i guess tatz juz why i cry so much..cos' i know that things are hopeless.. I've faced up to that already...
"Hope is a dull, lingering ache that brings bouts of great pain" -- umay
How true, how true....